A Slump

I have been in a slump lately.
A spiritual slump.
A fitness slump.
A marriage slump.

For a few months now, I have felt like I should feel closer to God. I should crave it more. I should attend church more, participate more. I should have a better, more righteous attitude and outlook on life. I should want to read my Bible more. I should work harder to make my quiet time in the mornings a reality again. I don't pray enough, I just feel disconnected. I don't know what it is or why. Is it just the devil rearing his ugly head? I know I think about it all the time. Is that the purpose? Am I supposed to understand something that will only come to me through a lot of thought? I hope it passes, I don't like it.

I feel like J and I have been in a slump. We have different ideas about some things. Pretty big life things. I don't like the way he thinks; he doesn't like the way  I think. We've been married a long, long time, but it seems some things don't change like I want them too. I wish I felt like he prayed about things concerning us, concerning our family. He is so busy with work and all the things he is interested in. I just wish I felt we were working for the same goal at the end. I think we are headed in the same direction, just maybe we have different ideas about the work involved in getting there. We are at the precipice of another breeding season. So he is about to disappear for months and months. When he is here, he is so tired he just wants to veg out and watch TV or he falls asleep in his chair. He drops out of our life. I play the roles of both mama and daddy. I have small hopes of things being a little better since we have several secondary vets this year, but I have done this too many times to hold my breath. I wish he had made some time to do something with me. He spent a lot of time at the farm with Jack. He took Mady to a movie. I don't think the two of us have been out for a meal alone in a year. I hate it being like this. Maybe if I could take care of my spiritual slump, I could pray away this problem.

I have also been in an exercise slump. I was doing really well for a long time. I started a few days after Christmas 2009. I didn't try to lose weight, I just wanted to be in better shape. And I was in better shape. My body was stronger. I felt better. I did really well, with few breaks until Thanksgiving 2010. At that time I just got so busy that I didn't make time for it. It is so hard, there are so many other things pulling at our time as mothers and wives and homemakers. We don't feel we should take 30 minutes or an hour for us. I vow to do better. I have to. I have too many health risks to not do what I can to help myself.

Menu Plan Monday..er Tuesday

I am having a week where I actually didn't have a hard time picking out things to cook for dinner this week! Yay! I have been in somewhat of a slump for months, so this is a welcome change! I did get it all planned out yesterday and even filed some of the recipes that had been piling up in my cabinets. When I find a recipe in the newspaper or a magazine that sounds good, I just tear it out. Well I had about 30 recipes that needed to be filed in my recipe binders. So now my cabinet looks much neater and there isn't an avalanche every time I pull one of the binders out!

Here we go...

Monday-        El Grande (Rice, hamburger meat, rotel, lettuce, tomatoes, cheddar cheese soup, topped with corn chips)
Tuesday-        Spinach Salad & French Onion Soup, Pig Cake
Wednesday- Roast, carrots, potatoes, mac n' cheese
Thursday-      Baked Teriyaki Chicken, Rice, Broccoli
Friday-             Bacon Cheeseburger Upside-down Pizza
Saturday-        Leftovers
Sunday-           Leftovers

Christmas 2010 Kentucky Edition

Christmas is over. : ( It is so sad. I thought that this Christmas was one of the best ever and have read this same thought on countless other blogs in the past few days. Maybe everyone cherished what we have more this year, and I don't mean just the things we have. We should all be thankful for our family members, for the jobs we have, for the roof over our heads. We should be thankful that we live in a country where we can attend any church we choose without fear of persecution. Thankful that we have plenty to eat. We are some of the luckiest people in the world, but often it takes some life changing event to make us realize that. Instead of thinking how good we had it before__________. Let's just be thankful now!

On to the Christmas festivities...

I always cook a big meal on Christmas Eve. This year was no exception. I intended to cook a turkey, but got to the store too late in the week to score a bird. So the featured meat was ham. We also had chicken and dressing, sweet potato casserole, bacon wrapped green beans, au gratin potatoes, Mrs. Schubert's rolls, chocolate chip pie, and apple pie. (I have decided to make it my goal of having the meal earlier next year.) We didn't eat until around 7:30 because someone forgot her Site to Store order at Walmart until 5:30 Christmas Eve! So between cooking 8 things that all needed to be cooked in the 1 oven we have and taking a shower, I also had to fit in a quick trip to the Walmarts!
After the meal, we opened the presents from us to the kids.

By the time we did this and everyone played with the toys it was after 9. Time for bed. We were both ready to drop, but Santa had failed to assemble the sweet wooden kitchen the kids got for Christmas. So long story short, we were up until about 1 am.
The kids were up around 7:30 am to see what Santa brought!Everyone was pleased with everything they got. I bought more toys this year than I usually do, but this year I thought more about how they won't be little long.

The rest of Christmas day was pretty quiet. We ate french toast,  leftover breakfast casserole, and bacon for breakfast. The kids cooked many, many meals in their new kitchen. Jeremy and I weren't feeling too good, so we both laid around and napped during the day. He and Jack went out to the farm for a bit that afternoon.
I appear to have developed a nice cold and haven't been out of the house other than to take the garbage out, in 3 days, so I'm off to bed!

We will miss him...

Well, we have returned from doing one Christmas and I am gearing up for another! We left on Sunday morning to go to Tennessee for a couple of days to do our Christmas with the family. Unfortunately, we also had to attend another funeral. I found out Saturday morning that my mother's youngest sister's husband, Johnny Wayne, had a massive heart attack during the early morning hours and had passed away. I was stunned. I know any of us can go at any time, but I was still floored. My aunt never had any kids of her own, although she has two step-children and 2 grandchildren. They weren't a mushy, gushy couple, but I know he loved her so much. He had a great sense of humor, but you often couldn't tell if he was joking or not. He had faults, as we all do, but was a good man.
I am not a big crier in front of people, but I couldn't stop during JW's funeral. I cried and cried and cried! I can't imagine how lonely my aunt will be now. I hate that for her so much. She is a widow and is so young. she was close to my mom and she's been gone for 8 years. Both of her parents are gone. I know she is a tough lady and I hope she makes it OK.
It is especially hard here at Christmas time. So be thankful if you have a husband to hug. Most of us are so lucky to have things as good as we do.

I started this post on Sunday night.

1. Get all three Christmas trees put up and decorated (Main tree, kids tree, and cowboy tree)
( Two down, one to go!)
2. Get all Christmas decoration boxes put away or taken back to storage
3. Take the kids to Southern Lights at the Horse Park or to a movie
4. Let kids watch a movie and have a sleepover in the living room
5. Clean this nasty house!
6. Clean office
7. Clean our closet
(It may sound like 6 & 7 are a part of 5, but not necessarily at my house! :- /
8. Get some Christmas shopping done  ONLINE!
9. Get some presents wrapped
10. Plan a few meals

Well, I got most of the list done. Since then my hubby has returned and I have finished (or almost finished) a couple of other projects. I made my first attempt at appliqueing shirts with the kids initials. They turned out OK. Nothing fancy. I also, made an ornament wreath. That looked much easier and less time consuming than it was.
I have really come to a realization this year that my kids are growing up...quickly! So this year I am trying harder to be less snippy and impatient. I am going all out in the decoration department. I am spending more on gifts and more time wrapping them complete with fancy bows. I have started some new traditions and have lots of plans for cookie making! (Maybe tomorrow if we get a snow day!) My babies are not babies anymore, I miss that. Now is good and I know that the future will be good too, but I do miss that there are days gone by that I can't get back. I am trying harder to cherish every one, even the ones where they scream, fight and do nothing but push my buttons!
Now I am just laying here wishing they would go ahead and say if school is called off or not! Why wait til morning when you know none of what is out there is going to melt and there is the chance for more? This causes me to have to get up at the regular time to find out the official verdict!
NO SCHOOL! I get to sleep in! :)

In the Next 4 Days

I have a few days of manning the Whitman ship alone and have a few things I would like to accomplish before Doc gets home.
1.   Get all three Christmas trees put up and decorated (Main tree, kids tree, and cowboy tree)
  ( Two down, one to go!)
2.   Get all Christmas decoration boxes put away or taken back to storage
3.   Take the kids to Southern Lights at the Horse Park or to a movie
4.   Let kids watch a movie and have a sleepover in the living room
5.   Clean this nasty house!
6.   Clean office
7.   Clean our closet
(It may sound like 6 & 7 are a part of 5, but not necessarily at my house! :- /
8.  Get some Christmas shopping done
9.   Get some presents wrapped
10. Plan a few meals

Tomorrow I have to do something I never wanted to do.
I have to take my precious beautiful daughter to the eye doctor because she has been telling me things on the board look blurry. It is not like she is picking out frames yet, we haven't even been to the optometrist yet. She went last year for her kindergarten checkup, but apparently we need to do another exam. I am convinced my little sweetie will have to have glasses. Both my husband and I needed glasses as children. He needed them in first grade and I needed them in third grade. I just hate to start the glasses thing. Always something to keep up with and something to try and not break or scratch. Plus what will the kids say? I know this is vain, but I don't want her made fun of! I want her to get to just be normal! Kids are mean enough and no one needs one more thing to be teased about. We will forevermore have to either have pictures without glasses or have pictures made without the glasses that won't look like her since apparently, photographers aren't trained on how to avoid glares when photographing subjects that are wearing glasses. I guess this is just a pet peeve of mine, but I notice glare on glasses in pictures. You can' believe how often it is seen! I would personally be VERY upset to pay for a professional photographer to take some photos just to have a huge bright spot on the person's glasses.

UPDATE: She had nothing wrong with her eyesight! In fact she had slightly better than 20/20 vision!

The Enemy

I have been a member of the church of Christ since I was 13. I have attended the church of Christ my entire life. We don't get all dramatic, we don't get overly excited, we are really composed and restrained in pretty much all matters concerning the Lord. It doesn't mean we don't feel things just as deeply or love the Lord just as strongly. We just feel a quiet respect is what is proper. I feel like my relationship with Christ has really deepened in the last few years.
One of the things I have come to a greater understanding of is that the devil isn't just some guy dressed in red down below the ground that will make your forever-after absolutely miserable if you don't follow God's word. He takes many forms and it can change day to day. Sometimes he is obvious; sometimes he is very subtle. He is good at leading you astray. He uses any means necessary to get the result he wants. He is devoted to his job 100% and works 24/7. He works much harder leading people astray than any of us work at being good Christians.
Well, the enemy showed up at my door the day before Christmas Eve 2002. It was the first Christmas since my mom had died suddenly. It was the first major holiday that we had been home since she died. (We were all supposed to go on a cruise during Thanksgiving. We were living in Texas at the time and got about halfway to New Orleans when we got a message that the boat had run aground and the cruise had been cancelled.) Anyway, the devil showed up on my doorstep right before Christmas. It changed my life! I could not believe the path my life was taking. My family members were already in a somewhat weakened state and Satan seized the opportunity. Over the course of the next several months, my father would make choices that would forever sever the trust we had and would effectively end our relationship. I have no regrets about my reactions to his activities, but it has come at a cost to me and my family too. My kids didn't have a relationship with either of my parents. I lost both my parents in the same calendar year. One I lost because of death. One I lost because the devil showed up and I had to make a hard choice to follow God. The enemy took the form of someone who was supposed to love me unconditionally. I never saw that one coming! Like I said, he will do anything it takes! Satan is alive and well and don't let anyone tell you different.
Luckily, I was strong enough to stand up to him. It isn't to my credit that I was able to do this, all the credit goes to God! He helped me through this and many other things since. When you are in the midst of it you can't believe that this is happening. You are in shock that he would sink this low; that he would kick you while you are already down. NEVER let your guard down. Satan doesn't take days off and your faith and strength in the Lord can't either.
Yesterday I got some news about the lengths my father went to show me how little he cared about me and how much he wished to embarrass me and belittle me. It shouldn't reflect on me, it is just the devil rearing his ugly head once again. I have to take the right attitude and remember what is important. I have to remember why I made choices back in 2002 and who helped me survive the whole thing! JESUS CHRIST my Saviour. (In more ways than one!) :)

Fall Field Trip

Well, today Jack and I went on his first field trip! That seems weird, but I think the only other two he had the option of going to got rained out the last two years. So today was the first! He loved it! We went to a local orchard/ pumpkin patch. It was his kind of place. Of course, his teacher was there and he loves, loves, loves Mrs. B! He held her hand most of the day! (Good thing I'm not the jealous type!)

His class from his Monday, Wednesday, Friday preschool was there. So that meant his little "girlfriend" was there!

 I think the feeling may be mutual since she walked up and wanted to hold his hand! :) This same little girl walked up to him on the first day of school and handed him the hard hat to put on since he was playing with the tool box. She was looking out for his safety!

We got to ride on a wagon pulled by a tractor and of course we sat in the first seat on the trailer so as to be as close as possible. Anyone who knows Jack knows tractors are his "thing". He loves them! When we made a couple of turns we could have reached out and touched the tractor wheel! We got to pick out a pumpkin and I have to say he did a great job!

We also got to taste apple cider, play on the playground, and even got to bring home a couple of apples! He loved the cider so much we had to buy one of those little apple shaped bottles when he was done playing.  As he would say, "I'm sweat! I need a drink!"

The weather was absolutely gorgeous and we had a wonderful time!

Bachlorette-ing It ...Kind Of

Well, Jack and I are home alone for a few days! Mady and Jeremy have flown to Texas to visit our "family" out there. He went for the horse sale and she went to see Mrs. Marshall. I am not sure how much she remembered of her, but from what I hear they are fast friends again. I love that. I love how Mady can not see someone for years and in a matter of minutes she is their best friend. I hope Mrs. Marshall is having as good a time as Madalynn is! I hate that what is so embedded in Madalynn is so far away. She has been back to Texas twice in the last 5 years. I wish the Garretts and Mrs. Marshall  lived closer. Mady had a Texan accent for years even though we only lived there until she was a year and a half old. She thinks Texas is the greatest place on earth even though she can't remember much about even being there.

According to Jeremy they have built a nice concession stand for the football field, a new sports complex and some other sports related  facility. Must be nice to be living in town with a woman who has so much money she is itching to give it away. (Long story) One of the few things in town when we lived there was the Shell gas station. Well, after we left, they built a bypass around Guthrie and since then the gas station closed! That was one of the only two places to buy a coke during the day and the only place after 5 pm. It was the only place within 30 miles to buy gas. It would really suck to live there now.

Since they left Jack and I have eaten at Wendy's, Chinese, and Taco Bell. I have thoroughly cleaned the house and driven the tractor for the first time. I have also watched a few movies I have wanted to see (The Backup Plan, Date Night, Bounty Hunter, and Valentines Day) I watched Bounty Hunter today - lasted forever and wasn't all that good. Yesterday, I watched The Backup Plan - very cute- and Valentines Day - terrible! I have yet to see Date Night.

I have also slept in my own bed and enjoyed it immensely! I love Jeremy dearly, but his snoring is AWFUL! I have slept on the couch so that I could actually sleep lately. It is nice to have a good night's rest.  Lovely!!!

I love my oldest and my hubby, but it is a nice change to have only one other person to take care of!