Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Merry Christmas! or not! 😢 This year just hasn't felt like Christmas. I think it had to do with a few things we had going on here. The first part of the month was great. I had my decorating all done, present wrapping game was on point, I even had gifts for the mailman and the neighbor! Then the kids started getting sick and with three of them, you feel like once it starts, it is never ending. LC was sick for like 3 weeks and required 2 doctor visits. Jack was sick once, Madalynn and I had the stomach bug one weekend, and then I was sick again about 10 days before Christmas.
Jeremy was traveling for AAEP. Then his granddad took a turn for the worse and he traveled down to TN to see him and then we all ended up going down for his funeral. This meant that the kids missed the last week before Christmas activities at school. Part of this was a blessing though. They have always bought Paw a Christmas present at the Christmas store and it was good that we didn't have that sitting under the tree with Paw gone.
Jeremy was scheduled to have a tonsillectomy on December 12, but since his grandpa passed away that day, he ended up having it done on the 19th. He felt horrible and couldn't eat anything other than soft food, so I didn't cook our traditional Christmas meal or even breakfast on Christmas morning. It has just sucked this year. I hate to say that really because our problems are all pretty minor and I acknowledge that and am grateful for that, but it has just been a sucky month.
On the upside, J is doing better today. He sounded more like himself and has eaten a little more. His throat is much better and he hasn't needed pain medication today other than ibuprofen. He hasn't needed to lay on his icepacks as much either. So that is a great blessing. He won't be recovered enough to eat a good steak on his birthday Friday, but maybe soon.
Lance volunteered to babysit and I plan to take him up on it. Randall offered to come up or do something, but I told him J wasn't up to it just yet. I wish I could talk him into going down to Nashville and all of the TN crew could meet us for a surprise 40th get together. It would be awesome. I don't think I could ever talk him into it though. Work comes first. :(
I think this way though, him not so much. I got a nice necklace for my birthday, but got a cooler for Christmas! Blah! It was a small yeti cooler, but still.  I want girly gifts that are something just for me on my birthday and Christmas. He and I pretty much have no personal relationship other than him being the provider and me keeping the home running anyway. I guess we are to that stage in life, but I hate it. I miss flirting, sex, and feeling like my husband wanted to be with me without kids from time to time. I understand he works a lot and wants to see them, but what about me? I know women aren't supposed to say that, but it is how I feel. I feel lonely even though we live in the same house. I wish his menopause and mine had started at the same time!

Saturday, July 23, 2016

Well, it has been exactly one year! Well, actually one year and one day. This time last year I was enjoying the effects of some good medication and a very good nurse! ;) J did a great job looking after me, making sure I took my meds, and bringing me food when I needed it.

I love the results. My only complaint is that I have a hard time finding bathing suit tops that fit and cover everything properly. I love not feeling like my belly sticks out farther than my boobs. That is not a problem any more!!! J loves it too. ;)  Sometimes when I lay on my side in a certain way, I can be uncomfortable. Sometimes they feel like they are moved over a little, but I am very glad that I did it and I would definitely do it again!
Well, it has been exactly one year! Well, actually one year and one day. This time last year I was enjoying the effects of some good medication and a very good nurse! ;) J did a great job looking after me, making sure I took my meds, and bringing me food when I needed it.

I love the results. My only complaint is that I have a hard time finding bathing suit tops that fit and cover everything properly. Also sometimes when I lay on my side in a certain way, I can be uncomfortable. Sometimes they feel like they are moved over a little, but I am very glad that I did it and I would definitely do it again!

Thursday, October 15, 2015

     So, it has now been a little over 10 weeks. I love the results! They don't feel or look too big to me. They feel like a part of me, nothing fake feeling at all. The deeper portion is firmer than before, but I had lost so much mass from breastfeeding and never had anything to speak of before that anyway. I love them! I love looking down and seeing something that sticks out further than my stomach. I haven't really had any trouble with my old normal clothes fitting. I have to wear something under some of my button up shirts since some of them gap open, but other than that no problems. My dresses all still fit just with a better look to them.
     I would highly recommend having 3-4 days of someone taking care of you and 2 weeks before you have to be responsible for anyone else. My kids came back home 4 days after surgery and it was hard. I couldn't take my meds like normal since I don't remember large portions of time when I was on them. That meant the pain was hard to control. By the end of Monday, I was a mess by the time J walked back in the door. So that could have been better. They never really asked too many questions, I just told them I had hurt my back. LC has said several times in the last few weeks that she missed me  a lot while she was at Aunt Jenna's.
     I was having a lot of pain about a week or week and a half after surgery. It may have been longer I'm not sure. Not excruciating pain, just achy, discomfort sometimes with sharp random pains. I had read that the random pains were normal though as the nerves heal. I will say that the pain/discomfort was more than I expected. Not unbearable, although the second day was the worst as I had read it would be; but I just had nothing to compare it to. The only other surgery I had ever had was having my wisdom teeth out.
     I really don't have anything I can't do. Sit-ups and crunches are different since I have more to lean up and around. I have to put on one of my industrial strength bras to run in or jump in, as well. I think I have finally evened out at a 40D. I could probably could do a 38D, but my incisions still don't like having anything pressing against them tightly, so I go with the bigger size. I have bought underwire bras and just take out the wire. I am not good at applying my scar cream consistently. I was supposed to start using it 2 weeks out applied over some tape they gave me. I was trying to be a good patient and do everything like they told me to. However, during the first application I realized I hadn't asked if I removed the tape after a few minutes or leave it on. Well, I left it on a while and that was a mistake. When I went to remove the tape, it felt like I was trying to rip my incision open! So I thought maybe it had too much adhesive so I got in the shower thinking it would soften the adhesive and make it easier to remove. Not so, the tape itself came off, but all the sticky adhesive was left. So I had to pick all the sticky off which was not pleasing to my incisions either. After that, my incisions were very easily aggravated. It was still summer, so any sweating made them burn. I only wore a bra when I was leaving the house, because  the bra band bothered them. The scar tape really set me back a bit as far as healing. I had essentially been pulling on a newly healed cut and that is never good.
     It took a long time for me to be able to use my arms the normal way. My husband made the comment early on, as I was walking around the house, that I looked like a bodybuilder! Thanks! I couldn't help it, you don't realize how much your arms and pectoralis muscles are interconnected until you notice EVERY movement! I walked around with my arms kind of held out to my sides because my chest muscles were so sore! You also really notice muscles that run up into your armpits!
     My husband was a great nurse and actually took off of work! I was really worried I would be left on my own too early. My sister was great to watch 3 extra kids for almost a full week. My meds were (other than day 2 when they just couldn't keep up with the pain) awesome! My doctor did not require a tight bandage around my breasts like most do, so with meds and ice packs my recovery was more comfortable. I would do it again in a heartbeat!
*Update I can wear a 38D.*

Saturday, August 1, 2015

Friday, July 31, 2015

Today and yesterday haven't been so great. I think maybe I overdid it Tuesday and Wednesday. I have just laid around the last couple of days. Jack helped me do some laundry. Friday I decided if I could lie around inside I could lie around at the pool. So I found a bathing suit that would cover the girls and off we went. It wasn't terribly hot, so I didn't do too bad. I'm not supposed to be in the water for at least 2 weeks. By the end of the day yesterday my back was killing me. I don't know if I am tensing up or carrying myself differently or if it could be the weight of the new girls. I hope either it was a one time thing or my body hurries up and gets used to things. I have also been using my essential oils pain cream and I haven't had the nerve pain and muscle cramps since then. I still seem to have a lot of nasal discharge. I'm not sure what causes that, but I had a lot of that right after surgery. They are still REALLY firm and don't really move. I hope that improves and from what I have read, it should. I am supposed to go back to the doctor on Thursday, if I can find a babysitter, so we will see what he says.

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Today was another good day. I don't get in much of a hurry in the mornings. Around 11 I took my shower and even felt well enough to do my hair for the first time since the surgery. Not sure that was a great move since it takes a lot of energy to keep your hands above your head for 20 minutes or so, but I did it anyway. Jack, LC, and I went to Kroger, got gas, and I stopped at Subway and got them some lunch. We came back home and I put all the groceries away with the help of Jack. Then the kids and I laid down for a nap. They both went to sleep. I must be getting better because I didn't really sleep all that much. I remembered before surgery that I might need to mention to my doctor that Oxycontin just kind of amps me up instead of relaxing me. This time it was usually paired with a muscle relaxer, so I guess that helped overcome it. I was so sleepy last week when I would take my meds that it wasn't funny.

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

D Day

Day 7- Tuesday, July 28  Today has been a good day! Not a completely back to normal day, not as active I am normally, but MUCH better than yesterday. I took meds before bed last night and then I woke up at 5 and took some more. I had made the decision to lay on my back to sleep last night. Bad idea! It's a lot longer distance to sitting from laying flat. So after I laid there in bed feeling like a turtle on its back, I finally managed to get up and go to the bathroom and take medicine. I had to eat something though, because I was hungry and didn't need to take meds on an empty stomach. I ended up waking up J, since he thought something might be wrong since I was standing in the kitchen eating applesauce. I laid back down until LC got up around 7:30-7:45. I got up with her and loaded the dishwasher. I had decided last night that I needed to eat better and maybe that would help me feel better. So, it may be unconventional, but I had tilapia, rice, and asparagus leftovers from last week for breakfast. I was still a little groggy so I laid down while LC played on the ipad. I got back up around 11. I took a shower and got dressed. We left and went to Walmart, to return library books, and to drop something off in town. We also ran by Chick-fil-a for some lunch. It was the first time I have driven since last Tuesday. I drove the Tahoe in case my reflexes were slow. I had to steer in really weird, small little turns, but I did fine. It was really tiring especially the walking in the store, but I did OK. I took two small muscle relaxers from when I injured my shoulder and laid down for a while after lunch, but I barely slept. This is a major accomplishment because when I lay down I am usually out! I stayed mostly awake while LC took a nap. Jack helped me gather the dirty laundry and I washed 3 loads and got them dried. I even cooked a very simple supper since I was starving and J wouldn't be home anytime soon. My boobs are slightly lower today, but still VERY firm. My incisions are not hurting at all and my steri strips are starting to loosen up. I still feel like my stomach is bigger than it should be. Not sure what that is, or if it is just the effects of not exercising in a week. I got a bigger front close bra today and it was a lifesaver! My other one just must be too little. I can't breathe when I wear it. This one is much better and I wore it while laying down and sitting which is pretty uncomfortable in the other bra I was using.

Day 6- Monday, July 27   Today was possibly the worst day I have had since my surgery. It was less physical pain and more mental. It was the first full day with the kids back. So, being a responsible person, I thought it best to not be doped up all day. So I took one of my pain pills at 8am and that was it for the day. Well, they make me loopy and sleepy. I laid down for awhile and the kids were watching a movie. Well, Jack greeted me with "well, how was your 4 hour nap?" when I reemerged from the bedroom. So basically I felt like crap. So I didn't take anything else during the day. I felt awful though. By the time J showed up I was in tears, not really from pain, but from just not being able to do anything! I am not driving yet, which sucks and I am still having some problems with double vision. It is one of the last weeks before the kids go back to school and I can't even go to the pool! I have to say, I might be bowing up to try this one. I just need to find a bathing suit that will fit.

Day 5- Sunday, July 26 J called from TN and woke me up around 7:30.  I was waiting until 8 to take any more meds and it could not come quick enough! Very full and painful feeling this morning, my incisions were burning, especially the right side! although the act of going from a lying position to a sitting one is much easier. I laid back down after breakfast for a while, since my time off is about over. Then I got up and decided I needed to look a little better for the kids.  I put on my bra, regular clothes, brushed my teeth and hair, and even did some chores around the house. I went downstairs and got myself a frozen pizza. I unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher. I have been taking Colace since Thursday and I finally went to the bathroom today. I was beginning to wonder how long it would be! A little TMI, but these are things I didn't find out until I was going through it!!! I still have a poochy stomach. I guess it is fluid and stuff, but I am ready for it to go away. I can't exercise yet and and I'm  hungry all the time and this is not helping!

Day 4- Saturday, July 25-  I slept ok last night. I took another shower before bed and that makes me feel better. I was able to get most of the clear bandage pulled off and J helped me get the rest of it off. It was uncomfortable pulling it off, but it was wet and needed to come off. My incisions were red but I think that was from the adhesive from the bandage. My incisions are itching today, so maybe that means I am healing. I am still very swollen and sore. Breasts are still very hard. I really hope they can begin to soften soon because right now they are like rocks. I have been trying to breathe deeply to keep from getting pneumonia and have coughed a little. It hurts! I have been having some double vision since day 1 or 2, that is better today.. I would like to kick the gal at the surgeon's office in the teeth who said "I had a super bowl party at my house 2 days after my surgery". That is BS. I can function on a basic level and that is about it. My kids will be home tomorrow, at least 2 of the 3, and I am dreading it! Right now, I only have to take care of myself and the house is clean and quiet. Tomorrow, that will not be the case. Let's all pray LC can be controlled. I ended up making chocolate oatmeal cookies tonight. Obviously, the hunger and itching are still an issue and I decided to skip one of my doses of medicine to help get rid of some of that. I stayed up until 12:30 am to take what would be my last dose. I wore my bra for an hour two different times today. Jeremy was down in TN picking up 2 of our kids and so I was on my own all day today. I showered and even wore one of J's t-shirts to bed tonight.  It is the first time I haven't worn a button up shirt all day and night since my surgery. I also, waxed my eyebrows, which by the looks of one of them, was a bad idea! I am still massaging them a little with some lotion at night, taking deep breaths several times a day,  and stretching my arms above my head. Getting out of bed is getting easier.

Day 3- Friday, July 24- I am still taking all my meds and have been very foggy and sleepy today. I am also itchy which is supposed to be a side effect of the narcotics. I am in less pain :)although I am still sore underneath around my incisions. I still haven't gotten the top clear bandage off. It was supposed to be taken off yesterday, but J thinks it looks like it is stuck to the steri strips and was very painful when we tried to take it off yesterday. So we are leaving it be for the time being. I have some firmness in my stomach that  I think is fluid and stuff moving downward. Yesterday it was more around my ribs.  I was running a fever last night (100.4) and that was really worrying me. I do NOT need an infection. My sister has had to take care of my kids for far too long already, much less if I were to have some complications. I called my doctor last night about the fever and he said not to worry unless it gets to 101.5 or above. That was a relief. I haven't felt nauseous or as lightheaded today and I think that is because we have done a better job keeping my meds on schedule and I am eating regularly. I also slept great last night. I think some of the swelling has gone down and there doesn't seem to be much bruising. I am not sure of the size yet though. They are still hard, but I am hoping the soften over time. I have been trying to raise and move my arms and they are less sore today. It is easier to get in and out of bed, which, other than wearing a bra, has been the most painful thing in the whole process. I am glad that J stayed here today. He has been going and buying my coffee and breakfast each morning and that has been something to look forward to. He should be going to TN to pick up the kids tomorrow. I guess they will come back Sunday. I really hate that he has had to do so much driving in the last 2 weeks. He is a really good nurse! I ordered myself a sports bra that fastenes in the front and am wearing that for a while today and it is much more comfortable to get on and off than others you have to put over your head.

Day 2- Thursday, July 23-   The WORST! I started out wrong by trying to get all my meds started at the same time. Bad idea! I hadn't eaten since the night before, no meds, and was trying to sit up for the first time that day. That is always the worst, sitting up for the first time each day. I ended up having to go back to bed because I felt like I was going to pass out, but couldn't get my head between my knees to make myself feel better.  Yesterday I was super sore and very painful. Very swollen, breasts very hard, and trying to wear my sports bra was Ok for a while, but I tried to wear it too long and I nearly cried when we finally took it off. Getting out of bed and coming to a sitting position brought tears to my eyes. J left for a while during the day, and although I thought I felt Ok, I miscalculated my med times and took something when I shouldn't have. I have noticed myself not thinking as clearly. I am not sure if some of the meds cause me to be hungry, but it seems like my stomach is always growling! That was an issue yesterday too, I was hungry and didn't have anything to eat when I should have. Not good! I had lots of muscle spasms around and underneath my breasts yesterday. So much so that the muscle relaxers weren't working. I tried ice packs and that helped a little. I finally took a shower late yesterday afternoon and that made me feel better. J went to Qdoba for us some supper and it was really good.
I had felt flushed and a little warm during the day and last night it was more so. I took my temp around 10 and it was 100.4. I was really worried that it might be a sign of infection, so I called my doctor who reassured me unless it got over 101.5, not to worry. I also asked him if it was OK to leave the clear bandage since it was stuck to my steri strips. He said to just leave it alone if it was stuck. I am supposed to go back for a follow-up on Tuesday, but may try to push that back if I still have pain meds that I am taking. Jeremy is worried about pneumonia since I can't take a deep breath. The doctor alluded to this tonight. So I am going to try and take deep breaths as much as I can.

Day 1 - Wednesday, July 22- D Day!  Today I am having Gummy Bear (410) textured shaped implants placed under the muscle. I should end up with a D cup.
I was SOOOOOO nervous! Scared to death of what all could happen and the effects it could have on my family. I was feeling guilty about my sister having to keep my kids for so long. I was feeling guilty about J not getting a real vacation, but having to play nurse instead. All for something that wasn't medically necessary. I hoped I'd be happy with the results and that everything would go as well as it could. We had to be at Dr. Salzman's office at 6:30 so we left home about 5. I got up around 4:30 and washed and fixed my hair. I couldn't wear makeup so I didn't have to do that. In the days leading up to surgery day I had cleaned my house, caught up on laundry, got all the mowing and weed eating done at both the farm and the house, bought some things for me to snack on, ran errands, and pretty much everything else I could think of. So at least that was a load off my mind. I always look for "signs" and by 6:30 Wednesday morning, I had seen more than I wanted. First of all, we were supposed to ring the doorbell and go through the side door. Well we went to the door at 6:25 and rang the doorbell and rang the doorbell and rang the doorbell! Strike one! Someone finally comes to the door about 6:35-6:40, she said apparently the bell doesn't work every time it is pushed. I go in and get my bracelet and my birthdate is wrong! Strike 2! Then when all the folks that would be involved in the surgery were coming through my room, J asked the nurse the anesthelogist's name and it was doctor so and so. Well, I didn't mention it to him, but when she actually came in, it was a nurse anesthetist. J had made a negative comment about doctors wanting to use them since they were cheaper. I didn't' say anything to J, but strike 3! So I was a mess thinking I should not be doing this! I wanted to go ahead anyway. We had paid for it, took the kids to my sisters, J was off work, and I  wanted bigger boobs. So we did it. J told me a 100 times, you don't have to go through with this, we can still back out. I think he was really nervous too. Around 7:45 they gave me some meds that took the edge off and I barely remember anything after that. I remember Dr. S coming in and marking me.  I remember faintly them pulling my bed out of the room we were in, me scooting over onto a gurney, and that is it until it was all over and J touched my foot as he came back into the room. I woke up to pain in my sternum. I was very out of it but hurting. I took some pain meds before we left the office and I don't remember much about the ride home from Louisville. Later that day we tried putting on a sports bra and that was very uncomfortable. So I got online that night and got me a bra that fastened in the front. I needed something that didn't hurt as much and something I can get in and out of by myself while J is gone. By far, the most painful thing is going from a lying position to sitting. The muscles underneath my breasts are very sore! I took my meds and used my frozen peas on and off all day. I am having some double vision, and can't breath deeply at all.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014


Well, I've been away almost a year. Normal for me. I have intentions of writing a year end post to sum up 2013, but haven't managed to get to it yet. Surprising I know.

This blog, if I do write another post in the next 6-12 months, will take a turn since we will be moving in the next few months. We know when or about when, (June 1-July 1), but we don't know where we are going from here. Today the farm owner told my husband officially. We already knew people were looking to lease the farm where we live, but it is for sure. Today it got real. Today has been hard.

I am not crazy about this house, don't get me wrong. I like the kitchen, but other than that, I don't have any other room that I really even like here. The thing I will miss is the outdoors and the location. I will miss my kids being able to play in our fenced, one acre yard. I will miss being able to go on a run, and the kids ride their bikes and not worry about traffic or them staying right with me. I will miss having a gate at the end of my driveway, so no strangers at the door or salespeople. You can't be too safe today and I am funny about that anyway. I will miss the dog having plenty of room to run. I will miss seeing Jeremy drive from barn to barn behind the house, even if I couldn't actually see him. I will miss the occasional 2 minute visit from him. He was able to stop by the house some during breeding season last year, and even though it might only have been long enough to grab a coke from the garage fridge, some days that made my day. Breeding season days are long for all of us. There will, most likely, be no more of that. I will miss being less than 5 minutes from the kids school or the grocery store or a fast food restaurant. I will miss my sister being able to take the kids on a bike ride when they come to visit in the summer. I will miss that this is the last house Skidboot lived in. I will miss that this is the last house of ours that Jeremy's grandparents will ever visit. It is the only house Jack remembers. It is the first house that Lillie Claire ever lived in, and one she will remember only in pictures.

I worry that our moving so much (10 times in less than 18 years) and my kids not having any one place they called home growing up, will mean they scatter to the wind when they grow up. I worry that this might all happen in a few years. In the grand scheme of things, this isn't a big deal. Much more serious problems exist all over the place and I am grateful that this is the biggest problem I have at the moment. But today has been hard.

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Looooooong Day

Today has been a long one. M is having two little girls over tomorrow night and I've had a list a mile long I have been trying to get through.
I'm too tired to write sentences so you just get a list.
- Got up and put on makeup and got dressed
-Paid bills before kids got up
-Fed and dressed all 3 kids
-Gathered muck boots, lists, coupons, outgoing mail, and dry cleaning
-Dropped off big kids
-Dry cleaners
-Checked cows
-To Hamburg, filled Tahoe up with Ethanol
-Starbucks to get lifesaving brew
- Meijer
-Quick stop into Gordmans
-Lunch from Qdoba
-Ate/fed lunch
-Unloaded groceries and put away
-LC down for nap
-Tried to take nap, too much to do
-Unloaded, reloaded dishwasher
-Straightened pantry
-cleaned out fridge
-LC up from nap
-Picked up big kids
-Post office
-Big kids clean playroom
-I straighten kitchen and vacuum downstairs
-Cook dinner, J takes shower
-Do homework with J, ask M spelling words
-Eat dinner
-Gather laundry
-Oversee girls' bath
-Put up M's stencil

I just ate some oreos that I didn't need and am off to take a shower.

Saturday, December 1, 2012


So I make pancakes all the time. Who doesn't if you have kids? Well, until today they have always been mediocre at best. I have tried both mixes and from scratch recipes, with no real standouts in the performance category. Well, thanks to Pinterest (insert angels singing) I can now make awesome pancakes! I found Gwyneth Paltrow's dad's recipe the other day and tried it today. SUCCESS! Now these may not be for everyone. I prefer a hearty pancake. All that fluff isn't worth much to me. It just tastes like air with syrup on it. These have more of a sourdough pancake flavor. Yummy! We went on vacation to Jackson Hole, Wyoming a few years ago and ate breakfast at Jedidiah's where they specialize in sourdough. These would probably fit right in there. I guess it is the buttermilk. In fact, both kids and myself ate two full size pancakes and a sausage patty this morning. That is pretty good for them! Anyway this is a recipe that I would give 5 stars!

Bruce Paltrow's World Famous Pancakes

I'm not sure if this link is working so here is the recipe just in case.

1 1/2 c all purpose flour
1 3/4 t baking powder
1 t salt
1 1/2 c self- rising flour  (Most people with cooking experience already know this, but just in case.)

3 T sugar

3 eggs
1 1/2 c buttermilk
3 T melted butter, cooled slightly
*1/2 c milk for later
*I didn't need this since my batter was already the right consistency.

Combine flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt OR just combine your sugar and flour if that is what you are using. In another bowl, whisk eggs, buttermilk, melted butter together. Combine the wet ingredients with the dry ingredients until just combined. Cover batter and let rest overnight in the fridge.
The next morning, add the milk until you get the consistency you want. Then cook on a greased griddle or skillet until pancake is covered with bubbles. Then flip and cook until golden on the other side. Serve with syrup and enjoy!